Moving in with your lover is a significant milestone in your relationship with many joys, as well as many compromises and challenges. You need to be prepared to set rules for dating when your relationship moves to this stage.
As excited as you may be to share a life, you may also have a few reservations. This is quite normal. Especially if this isn’t your first time.
However, if you genuinely want to move on from a divorce or break up, you must learn to give someone else a chance. Despite the numerous problems that rules for dating brings, a straightforward approach ensures that you both remain enthusiastic.
The solution to creating a harmonious relationship is carefully constructing rules for dating when you first move in with a partner. Although it may appear tedious and unnecessary, these rules are required to build a solid and reliable bond with mutual understanding.
In this article, we will discuss the Rules for Dating When You Move In With a Partner
Rule for Dating on how you should divide expenses
One of the essential rules for dating you need to set, when you first move in with a partner is to ensure you’re both on the same page regarding finances. Living together is not as simple as a sleepover.
You will both be responsible for the upkeep of your beloved home. We suggest establishing financial rules for dating before moving in together. This will allow you to create a relocation budget that works for both of you. Once you agree on this together, you will see how your relationship matures and becomes stronger.
No matter what, you must consider one another’s financial situation and obligations. Talk in detail about each other’s income, savings, and debt to better understand where you stand. And remember, although you may have opposing views on financing a household due to personality and upbringing disparities, you will have to work as a team.
Rules for Dating on dividing responsibilities
While dividing finances is essential, it is as vital to divide responsibilities. If these responsibilities are not adequately separated, you will have frequent disagreements that may lead to resentment and separation. To avoid this, you will need rules for dating that discuss who is responsible for what. This way you both feel satisfied with your portion of the housework. When talking about chores and your preferences, be mindful of the other person. That joint effort is needed to maintain your home.
Although compromise in a relationship is essential, don’t go overboard to the point where one of you is unhappy and overwhelmed. If you find it challenging to divide tasks fairly, note down each task that needs to be done and understand each other’s interests for each task. Keep the conversation open, compromise if issues arise, and everything will be alright.
Rules for Dating on setting boundaries
We all have boundaries. You shouldn’t ignore these crucial considerations even if you’ve just moved in with someone. Because of this, you’ll need to talk about what you consider acceptable and what you don’t.
You will most likely have different boundaries or things you won’t accept. For example, you may have a different preference on how often you should have people over or who has access to your house keys. It would be best if you discussed this prior to the relocation, so both of you understand the expectations.
If you neglect to do this step, you will find your relationship worsening since neither of you knows how to coexist together. You may need to dig deep and understand your boundaries or figure them out as you go. Communication, either way, is the most important thing.
Rules for Dating that keep the spark alive
While your relationship may seem to thrive when you first move in with a partner, this may not always remain this way. After a while, the euphoria of actually living together fades, and you may notice a lack of spark. This can happen because of various reasons.
However, it usually boils down to the fact that most couples get used to each other’s daily presence and forget to cherish what they have. For this reason it is important to set rules for dating, to keep the spark alive and things don’t become too routine.
To keep the spark alive, you may need to establish rules prohibiting using electronic devices when you’re together so that you can connect. You might also schedule weekly date nights and ask each other what you require from the relationship. Moreover, you may talk openly about your sex life and improve it if needed. After all, intercourse is one of the critical ways you and your partner can stay connected.
Rules for Dating on separate activities and time spent by yourself
Although you may now live under the same roof, and spend a lot of time together, it doesn’t mean you have to live the same life. Your lives are more connected than before, that’s true, however, you have also to enjoy your own life separate from theirs.
You should make rules about the necessary alone time you both require and the accepted amount of time you should spend with friends.
Furthermore, this is important so you can meet and understand each other needs. If your relationship with yourself blossoms with the help of self-care, your other relationships will also thrive. Quality time with yourself should be one of your top priorities.
Rules for Dating on keeping it civil if the relationship ends
The last rule on the list is one you may not want to consider. However, it is indispensable. While it may seem like the wrong rule to make when you first move in with a partner, it will save you a lot of time and stress in the long run. You must figure out how to keep it civil even if the relationship ends.
Now that your mutual lives have become more entangled, it may be hard to untangle them without causing damage. Discuss what would happen in case separation happens. For example, who would move out first, how would you divide the property, or who would get the dog? It’s important to discuss such things, even if you don’t devise a concrete strategy immediately.
Christopher Cox is a licensed marriage and family therapist whose mission is to provide straightforward solutions to men’s daily issues.
Meta description: When you first move in with a partner there are a number of rules you should set. Here are just a couple of them we highly suggest.