The simple fact is erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation happens to millions of men. Erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation symptoms effects nearly 30 million men (18% in the US) each year. Unfortunately, ED doesn’t just affect the man with the symptoms, what about erectile dysfunction and women. The biggest problem for men with ED, in addition to not being able to maintain an erection suitable for sexual intercourse, is their often inability to communicate to their partner that they have erectile dysfunction or are experiencing symptoms of erectile dysfunction, such as some sort of difficulty getting or maintaining an erection, losing their erection during sexual intercourse or having premature ejaculation.
Unfortunately, the ads for Cialis and Viagra make the symptoms of erectile dysfunction seem so simple to solve, you don’t even have to communicate your erection problem with your spouse. Just pop a pill, and like magic your erection returns and intimacy restored.
For men, erectile problems can be a big hit to their ego, self esteem and bring low feelings of self worth if they can’t get an erection without taking a pill or the fear they can’t completely satisfy their partner. Men are often not likely to discuss their erection problem with their partner, and women all too often blame themselves when the intimacy ends or the sex stops.
Men may be more at ease discussing such a personal matter with their doctor, particularly the causes of erectile dysfunction and ED treatments than talking about this sexual dysfunction with their spouse or significant other.
How Erectile Dysfunction Effects Women?
Erectile dysfunction is a much more sinister villain for the woman of a man with ED. Sadly for so many women, they internalize the problems associated with a man’s erection problems as their own. This causes the women a great deal of frustration, rejection and anger that can impact the relationship. This turns into the evil internal dialogue in their head that a man’s erectile problems and lack of intimacy that so often comes with it, are somehow due to something she is doing wrong in the relationship; why aren’t we having sex anymore, why doesn’t he find me sexy or attractive, or is he having an affair?
Andrew McCullough, MD, director of sexual health and male infertility at NYU Medical Center in New York City said the first thing a woman thinks when a man can’t get an erection is that it’s her fault
The reality is, these are his problems and not yours. But if lead to fester without communication with her spouse, this may further damage the relationship between the couple, if she fears his lack of intimacy or ability to maintain an erection is a fear he doesn’t love her anymore, or is cheating on her with another woman.
Some women know that the issue is with their partner and not with them, but for fear that bringing up the issue of his erectile dysfunction will hurt his ego, wanting him to go to the doctor means he is broken, can cause him to lash out or further withdraw from the relationship, the woman is forced to suffer in silence until she feels that she has no other option; to find another sexual partner so her physical and emotional needs are being met.
In this case, silence is not golden!
Symptoms of Erectile Dysfunction in men
What are the warning signs you or your partner may have erectile dysfunction.
- Inability to get an erection
- Unable to get an erection hard enough for sexual intercourse
- Man can initially get an erection, but loses it during sexual intercourse
- Can only maintain an erection during oral sex or manual stimulation of the penis
- Do you frequently get Premature ejaculation?
- Do you avoid having sex? Women – does your partner seem to avoid getting intimate with you?
Causes of Erectile Dysfunction?
Erectile dysfunction is not a natural condition, but is usually a symptom of an underlying physical or mental condition.
Most common Causes of Erectile Dysfunction both men and women can look for:
- Heart disease
- Hypertension (high blood pressure)
- Type 2 Diabetes
- Multiple Sclerosis
- Excessive alcohol use
- Illicit Drug use
- Side Effect of prescription medication
Men with Type 2 Diabetes or heart disease are 3 times as likely to exhibit symptoms of erectile dysfunction than the normal population of men between the ages of 45 and 65. Type 2 Diabetes eventually damages arteries, like men with heart disease, which hardens the arteries due to plaque build up, and restricts the flow of blood to the penis.
In addition to arterial sclerosis, Type 2 Diabetes damages the nerves in the penis that receive electrical signals from the brain during sexual arousal to become engorged with blood to cause an erection and also highly sensitive to stimulation. Without these two critical components, a man will not be able to achieve or maintain an erection.
What is Emotional Erectile Dysfunction?
Emotional erectile dysfunction is not due to a physical health issuer, like Type 2 Diabetes, but rather is due to the increase in production of the stress hormones, cortisol and adrenaline. These hormones block the brain from sending signals of sexual desire, to increase libido, and ultimately blood to the penis to cause an erection.
Emotional erectile dysfunction usually results from one of the following issues:
- acute stress or anxiety disorder
- financial or work-related stress
- recent traumatic event in your life
Inside the male brain, stress and anxiety trigger the release of cortisol and adrenaline, also known as the stress hormones. In the male brain, stress and anxiety are responses to an actual or perceived emotional or physical attack. This is commonly referred to as the fight or flight response that our prehistoric ancestors faced when fighting other tribes or dinosaurs in a life or death struggle. These stress hormones were meant to keep humans alive. While modern stressful situations are not anything like our pre-historic cousins faced, our bodies still react to stress and anxiety in a similar fashion.
Under normal situations, when the life-threatening scenario is ended, stress hormone levels return to normal, but in a man dealing with chronic stress, the body continually releases the stress hormones.
So, what does cortisol and adrenaline have to do with ED? When the body is producing stress hormones, it can’t produce the hormones that trigger libido or increase sexual desire. Basically, your body and brain want to keep you alive, not give you a boner.
The key to overcoming emotional erectile dysfunction is learning relaxation exercises, meditation or yoga or any activity to overcome or reduce stress, anxiety or depression naturally. Learning yoga, pilates, or other form of stress relief together can help the man overcome the emotional triggers that are at the root of his erectile dysfunction, and can help bring the couple closer to help improve communication and reignite lost intimacy.
Don’t forget that while many drugs today help alleviate stress, anxiety and depression, they also come with erectile dysfunction as a side effect. If your doctor recommends keeping on some form of medication, look for one with the fewest side effects, and even better, one without ED as a potential side effect.
How a Couple Can Overcome His Symptoms of Erectile Dysfunction?
The first thing a couple can do to help improve a sex life effected by erectile dysfunction is to not personalize it. ED doesn’t define you personally, it is a condition that can be overcome and you can regain a healthy sex life.
Next is to communicate. Remember any communication about sexual problems must never be had in the bedroom. This is a sacred location, and discussing ED in the bedroom will only reinforce his erection problems, and every time he gets into bed with you and you attempt to have sex, his ED will be the first thing that comes to his mind; will he be able to get and maintain an erection and will he be able to satisfy you sexually.
Finally, address his erection problem in a loving way as a couple. Whether he says it or not, this condition is effecting him terribly both physically and mentally, playing on his ego, self esteem and as your lover and companion.
1. ED is often a symptom of an undiagnosed medical condition. Have him see a doctor to determine if his ED is due to a medical condition, such as heart disease, high blood pressure, Type 2 Diabetes or other medical condition.
2. If he has no health conditions, then look for mental erectile dysfunction causes, such as stress, anxiety or depression.
Popular Natural Erectile Dysfunction Treatments
- One of the best natural male supplements known to help overcome the symptoms of erectile dysfunction for over 10 years is Vimax.
- Try relaxation and meditation to help relieve stress and anxiety.
- How to stop remature Ejaculation with Ejaculation on Command.
- Mind Over ED is a popular natural Erectile Dysfunction Treatment developed by a psychologist to help both men and women deal with the issues of erectile dysfunction, which includes exercises to help both him and you overcome ED, and increase intimacy.
- If your ED is related to Type 2 Diabetes or heart disease, an Erectile Dysfunction Pump, which is recommended by the American Urological Society, helps men achieve an erection when nothing else works, or you don’t want to use pills like Viagra.
Ken Weiss is a health blogger who is passionate about natural and holistic cures for men’s health issues. He is the founder of menshealthcures.com